Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Open Letters

Dear Honda-

I purchased a car from you about 2.5 years ago. It's a nice car. Well done. However, just cuz I bought one, doesn't mean I want another one. Why do you keep sending me emails about your car sales? What makes you think I need more than one car? What makes you think I can afford more than one car? Do you really have people receiving these emails that actually come in to your store to buy another one? Who are these people? I'd like to meet them and see how they live.

Sincerely-
Starting to Get Annoyed Customer

Dear Brad Womack-

I applaud you on ridding yourself of two of the three crazies in your dating pool. In doing so you proved you have at least 5 brain cells as opposed to the standard 2 of most contestants.

Signed,
Person Who Is Shamed to Admit She Watches the Show

Dear Biggest Loser-

What's the deal with not showing the new trainers' faces? It's getting old.

From-
Person Who is Comfortable Admitting She Watches the Show

Dear Chex Mix-

Why do you put pretzels in your traditional mix. It throws off the whole balance and makes me upset. If I were you, I'd leave them out altogether.

Regards-
Person Who is Tired of Picking Pretzels Out of Her Bag

Dear Blog Readers-

I'm supposed to dress up like a Viking on Friday night. Anyone have a Viking costume laying around I could borrow? Oddly enough I can't find my helmet with the horns sticking out...

Thanks-
Barbaloot

28 comments:

Kristina P. said...

I was definitely surprised he got rid of the crazies. Makes for good TV. We still have our home grown Utah crazy though. Yay!

Camille said...

AMEN. The pretzels to Chex ratio is seriously off. If they're going to leave the pretzels in, they need to add more of whatever flavoring is on there!

LisAway said...

Would it be good with pretzel M&Ms? I don't do pretzels in general, and I'm not sure I've ever tried Chex Mix (though I love the cereal), so I real need to know. :)

T said...

Dear Barb,

I only like the pretzels. you're welcome to send them to me.

and, how exactly do you misplace a large helmet with horns? I'm digging through my recently put away costume boxes for tomorrow's Pirate Dress up day - what's with all the costume things tomorrow?

Emily said...

Got tin foil, printer paper, tape, cardboard and cookie sheets? Then you've got yourself a viking costume!

*See email coming your way with a photo.

Chris and Sara Waldron said...

Ha, you make me laugh. Sorry I can't help with the costume- good luck! And I agree about the no-face trainers- how long is that going to last?

Rachel Sue said...

I know! We get letters all the time from the dealership where my husband bought his truck wanting to trade it in. HE JUST BOUGHT IT. Leave us alone!

so ridiculous.

Erin The Great said...

I'm with you on Brad Womack... but seriously aren't they a little bit crazy? I'm sad to say I watch on occasion.

rocslinger said...

They employ people to write and send emails. It they didn't have that to do they would have to get an actual job.

Look for your horned helmet underneath the dish towels hanging in the kitchen, oh wait thats a cowshead, sorry.

Cynthia said...

It's not just the car dealerships. You can't buy anything anywhere without them sending a million unwanted e-mails. Soon they'll figure out no one reads the junk e-mails anymore and start invading our personal Facebook pages, blogs etc.!

I can only comment on the BL since it's the only one I watch but I agree the 'faceless' trainer thing is OLD. Sidenote- 6 of the 22 contestants are LDS and they are all on the 'unknowns' team. I smell voting block!

Deb said...

Chex Mix with pretzels is like a squirrel holding a piece of sandpaper: it makes no sense.

JD said...

I risk embarrassment -- or perhaps I should not be embarrassed at all that I don't know this -- by asking: Who is Brad Womack?

Homer and Queen said...

I am so with you on the pretzel thing!!! I love them but not in Chex Mix. I pick them out too.

wendy said...

barb!!! I love your new "look". very cool, just so ya know. Barb on a Beach in Barefeet...........totally awesome.

just so ya know
I could use a new car.
I am not aware of that one show.
I too am tired of the "mystery" new trainers. And I hope Rulon does well, that's the only reason I am watching it right now.

Chex Mix need more peanuts!!!!

Kazzy said...

I love BL, but the "mystery trainer" thing would only work if they were very well-known people, which they are not. I am rooting for Rulon too. I think he is such a leader and great guy.

ps Maybe Jillian doesn't want to compete for face time on camera, and has insisted on the shadowy stuff.

Cherie said...

You are a crack up! How does one get rid of junk mail anyway?

You could send all the pretzels to the M&M company!!

Becky Dayton said...

Save the pretzels for me, I like them.
I love your new background.
I would say I can't believe you watch The Bachelor but considering my mom and I used to always just watch the last 5 minutes (rose ceremony) of those episodes I can't talk.
I've been avoiding watching Biggest Loser because I know that I'll get sucked in and addicted.

The Kooky Queen--Rachel said...

LOVE your new blog look!!! And seriously, I was so proud of kookoo Brad for getting rid of the crazies. But did he have to give the CRAZIEST the group date rose!? She's PSYCHOTIC! And I agree about the trainer's faces...totally irritating.

Garden of Egan said...

Barb, I sure hope you found the Viking thing. I sorta wanna know why you needed it.

You really should try to be more accepting of pretzels.
Honda emails....not so much

the Lola Letters said...

Dear Barb,

Your letters make my day! I still haven't gotten over your letter to Katy Perry. Ha!

Yeah, um, pretty sure Honda should start sending emails to people like ME {you know, the ones driving around town in 1985 pedophile vans?} Yeah. It'd be a wee bit smarter.

Don't watch BL, but I have all of "the Bachelor" episodes backed up on the Xbox. I LOVE the Bachelor, and yes, that is shameful - but it's REALLY is like a train wreck and I cannot look away! The hubs and I call it "The Crazy Chicken-head Show" I think it's far more fitting.

Love,
Lola

the Lola Letters said...

P.s. LOVE the new header!!!!!!

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

WHat?! New trainers on TBL? I mean, I"ve never seen a full episode, but i LOVE to HATE JM and BH.
Oh, and love the boots in the post below...hot!

sara said...

I totally agree on the Biggest Loser one. Way old, just tell us who they are already, it's not like they're famous or anything.

Hoggards said...

Oh, I've been away from blogging for a while, but I've missed reading your posts!
I totally get you on the Honda thing. We bought a Honda van and a few months later were getting emails to sell it back to them. It was dumb. But I think there are people who always have to have new things so therefore they buy cars and then get new ones 2 years later.

Connie said...

Great look on the blog!
I think pretzels sometimes taste like fish! Maybe hiding them in the Chex Mix is the way to go!

Tonight the unknowns are supposed to be revealed. Too bad I won't be here to watch every second of the drawn out, frustrating, staged show that I love to watch!

Lady of Perpetual Chaos said...

I love your Open Letters. They are awesome. As are you.

Also? Holy new blog look Batman! Looks good!

kwistin said...

i'm very glad you write little letters as well. and i'm pretty happy about that last letter to your readers.

my, what a good night that was....pictures to come soon(ish) on facebook. ;)

Alice Wills Gold said...

Dear Barb,

I was entertained with your letter post today. Thank you. I believe you could start a whole blog with little letters just like this every day.