Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Fish vs. Squirrels

Boys are fish. Girls are squirrels. It's true.

Fish are easily caught. Put something sparkly in front of them and they'll bite without even thinking about it. They are just as easily distracted. If the certain something sparkly doesn't have a substantial hook (she's boring, lazy, high maintenance, involved elsewhere), the fish are just as easily un-hooked and they swim away never giving the sparkly thing another thought.

Squirrels. Now, they're more cautious. They see something of potential interest, like a nut, but they're not gonna rush right in a grab it. Nu-uh. They circle around it, finding out all they can about the nut before they're gonna commit to wanting it. And they'll try and keep the nut from realizing it's being evaluated. Once they've decided they want it, they rush in, grab it, and then hurry and hide it before some other squirrel comes along and creates competition. And the squirrel won't forget about the nut. She'll hang on to it for a good, long while.

There's a reason fish and squirrels don't co-exist. What on earth makes men and women think they can?

Friday, September 10, 2010

I Already Graduated. Thanks.

I got a packet in the mail the other day from my alma mater. Being that a certain amount of time has passed since I graduated, they want me to fill out a questionnaire. So, I open it and the dang thing is 10 pages long! And, they're making me fill it out with a #2 pencil---making sure I don't go out of the lines. I'm surprised they didn't ask me to come to the testing center to complete it. Good grief.

Anyway, I'm filling out questions about if I read a wide range of literature and appreciate and understand the texts and cultures they discuss....what? I just finished reading Mockingjay. Before that I was busy reading The Alchemyst series. Suffice it to say, there's little to no analyzing going on when I read.

Then, it starts asking me about my writing. Let's begin by saying that I hate writing. Research papers were death, in my opinion. I don't think I managed to ever get anything over 11 pages. And they want to know if I can "tailor my message to my audience," or if I "construct effective sentence patterns." Do I develop my central idea well? Um...I never really have a central idea, let alone develop it. If I weren't so concerned about filling in the bubble so carefully, I'd makes notes in the margin telling them that the only writing I do is on this blog. That I write at the spur of the moment when I get an idea and give zero thought to sentence structure.

I still have 5 pages of the questionnaire left. Do you think they really want my responses? Are they going to take away my diploma? Cuz I wrote a lot of hated research papers to get it, and I'm not gonna give it back.

On a completely unrelated note, look at this picture. Not because I think the movie looks good and am recommending it. Cuz really, I think it looks horrifically lame. And inappropriate. I do, however, like the way he's "leaning."But look at her right arm.

What the heck? Is it over his shouler? Reaching around? Under his arm? What is going on here?

Thursday, September 2, 2010

More Questions?

Perhaps I should just turn this blog (that never had any specific subject in the first place) into a question forum since it seems like that's all I have to write about these days. Anyway.

1. Where are the yellow m&ms? Do they still exist? They don't in the pretzel kind. And also-maybe I should stop asking questions about m&ms.

2. If I send out graduation announcements now, do you think I'll get presents? I found a box of announcements at my parent's house recently that I never sent out. Announcements from high school. My 18 year old self was not aware that people sent money in return for getting one of those. Dang my past self! But anyway, if I send them now, what do you think will happen?

3. What was your favorite part of Eclipse? (I finally saw it last night.) Mine was Victoria's hair. Red? And curly? It does not get better than that.

4. If you had to choose between having a pool or a sauna, which would you pick? I know pools are great and all, but I think I could live in a sauna forever.

5. Kindles. I get that they're convenient and all, but can they compare with the joy of owning shelves of books? Actually having the books to hold, and stack and collect? I don't think so.

Do you think I should stop asking so many questions and start finding some answers in life?