Friday, September 10, 2010

I Already Graduated. Thanks.

I got a packet in the mail the other day from my alma mater. Being that a certain amount of time has passed since I graduated, they want me to fill out a questionnaire. So, I open it and the dang thing is 10 pages long! And, they're making me fill it out with a #2 pencil---making sure I don't go out of the lines. I'm surprised they didn't ask me to come to the testing center to complete it. Good grief.

Anyway, I'm filling out questions about if I read a wide range of literature and appreciate and understand the texts and cultures they discuss....what? I just finished reading Mockingjay. Before that I was busy reading The Alchemyst series. Suffice it to say, there's little to no analyzing going on when I read.

Then, it starts asking me about my writing. Let's begin by saying that I hate writing. Research papers were death, in my opinion. I don't think I managed to ever get anything over 11 pages. And they want to know if I can "tailor my message to my audience," or if I "construct effective sentence patterns." Do I develop my central idea well? Um...I never really have a central idea, let alone develop it. If I weren't so concerned about filling in the bubble so carefully, I'd makes notes in the margin telling them that the only writing I do is on this blog. That I write at the spur of the moment when I get an idea and give zero thought to sentence structure.

I still have 5 pages of the questionnaire left. Do you think they really want my responses? Are they going to take away my diploma? Cuz I wrote a lot of hated research papers to get it, and I'm not gonna give it back.

On a completely unrelated note, look at this picture. Not because I think the movie looks good and am recommending it. Cuz really, I think it looks horrifically lame. And inappropriate. I do, however, like the way he's "leaning."But look at her right arm.

What the heck? Is it over his shouler? Reaching around? Under his arm? What is going on here?

26 comments:

Machen said...

Good eye...I never catch those in pictures, someone has to always point them out to me.
And how is Mockingjay? I want to read it...but it's been a while since I read the two previous books so I'm going to have to read those again.

Kristina P. said...

You should send it in to Photoshop disasters.

And you are clearly BYU worthy and a good person, because no way would I fill that out.

Matt said...

It looks like they're looking over each others' shoulders -- like they combined two separate photos.

Garden of Egan said...

The picture is bizarre. Thanks for putting it there so I can be sure to avoid the movie.

About the Spanish Inquisition from your Alma Mater.........if you don't return it what are they gonna do? Not give you a diploma?
Sheesh.
I say fill in all the circles with a pen and send it back to them.

sara said...

I totally would've never noticed that. I looks cut off. Or maybe it's a stunt hand - coming out of the wall of course.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

LOL... I hadn't really noticed that before. but yea, something weird is definitely going on there.

I don't fill out those questionnaire's and so far still have my diploma.

I think you're safe.

T said...

If all else fails choose "C" - that's how I took my ACT test. (really... turns out it worked pretty well that year actually...)

and the photoshop is BAD on that one... because if her arm were really there (being bisected with his arm) then she wouldn't be smiling like that. Add a scream of pain and discomfort and it'd be just about right.

Emily said...

I agree with you about not thinking too much about the technicalities of pretty much anything anymore. The strange thing is, some people actually do think about sentence structure, etc. even when writing emails. I happen to be married to one.

Melissa Bastow said...

That picture is awesome - someone with photoshop in hand was like, "No one will ever notice if I just stick her hand RIGHT HERE, man I'm a genius."

I say you fill out the rest of the bubbles in ink. In an obnoxious color. And cross a lot of stuff out, just for fun.

Smart Helm said...

Man, BYU just keeps asking me for money by telling me how all these other wonderful people are doing so. They must think you have something to say and actually want to hear it.

I have to say the way that boy is standing is pretty romantic. Gene Kelly does it on "Singing in the Rain" and Marlon Brando on "Guys and Dolls". Of course, in those movies the girl has her hands coyly behind her. How's that for sentence structure?

Rachel Sue said...

That cracks me up. I only ever get surveys asking how much money I make. But they aren't 10 pages long. . .

Boy Mom said...

Barb, clearly it's HIS right hand hence the premise of the movie. Born with a ridiculously long right arm in a little Russian town, Moscow actually,so not that little, Boris' relationships suffered from his overextending reach; until, he met Anya, also born in Moscow but, Idaho, missing her right arm entirely. Until. As fate would have it. Anya leaned, one day against a wall in Moscow, Kansas. A Blue Wall. Boris spotted her, their eyes met, hands reached out, hers...not so far really, and they, "Met Halfway!" Metephorically speaking. Boris went the distance Anya gazed past Boris into the distance and... A Photo-shop moment was born and a Drew Barrymore movie.

How was my sentence structure?

Becky Dayton said...

Barb. Questionnaires are no fun. Also I've decided her right hand is floating.

Connie said...

That's bizarre! The picture and the questionaire!
If the questionaire is written on only one side, you could use it for scratch paper!

Kazzy said...

Awkward photo!

And I throw all of the BYU stuff out that seems like junk mail. Sorry, I love ya', alma mater, but I have moved on.

Debbie / Cranberry Fries said...

I still get stuff (and so does my neighbor who graduated like 6 years ago) saying 'come back and finish what you started. Hm already did thanks.

That is a goofy picture. Someone that they'd save money and photo shop instead of retake it. Now we're all just laughing. :)

LisAway said...

Sheesh about the TEST. I think they should ask one question: Do you think you're still pretty smart, even though you graduated a while ago? That should be enough. And you should answer "yes".

Homer and Queen said...

I hate writing and I hate worrying about proper English. Send them a hate note.

The Kooky Queen--Rachel said...

That picture cracks me up! It's like, her arm was an afterthought and they cut it out pasting it on his shoulder never considering HOW it got there.

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

Really? That many questions? Guess where mine would end up?

Chief said...

Seriously, how many people REALLY answer those things honestly?

Cynthia said...

I used to have 'mathmares' when I was under stress. I would dream that I missed some required math class and they were going to take back my degree unless I sat for a test and passed it immediately. Scary! I did not run from writing- it was MATH. Oh, horrible math! The only thing my alma mater wants from me is a donation. I would actually have to HAVE money before I could give them any! LOL!

As for the poster, I love how you always bring our attention to the truly important stuff!

Sue Q said...

Maybe BYU should send out this picture and ask us all to analyze IT instead of our educational and occupational success. I think they would get a lot more response, don't you?

Shelley said...

Haha, I got the same byu questionnaire in the mail yesterday....and it went straight to the trash can. Does that make me a bad cougar that I didn't even consider filling it out? I promise I still bleed blue.

wendy said...

I am posting this from a pizza joint...lame
I'd throw the dang paper away...heck you graduated girl, paid you dues, I'd say LEAVE ME ALONE.

as for the movie ad....photoshop???? gone wrong

Sandra said...

Maybe he's got a hand growing out of his back...? Maybe?...well, it could happen!