Friday, August 22, 2008

How Rude!

Don't even try and tell me that you did not immediately think of Stephanie Tanner when you read this blog title. I'll know you're lying. I'm sure you watched Full House as a child. And probly liked it. I bet some of you still watch the reruns that are on all the time.

Okay. I do, too.

Anyway, I know you're all just dying for my China report. What I did and what I saw and how much fun I had and blah blah blah. But you're gonna have to wait a little bit longer. Cuz I wanna talk about airlines and how they're totally rude. Okay? Okay.

I mean, first of all, they force you to show up for your flight, that will no doubt get delayed by 3 hours, 2 hours early. And then, they squish you into these tiny non-seats where even people like myself who don't require leg room still feel folded up like a lunch box. But that's not the meanest thing they do. No sir.

The worst is after the flight when you're tottering down the aisle in your newly acquired hunchback form, convinced you'll never again be able to stand straight, and they herd you past the first class section. That is just plain mean! Those chairs are bigger than my bedroom. And they have cool antennas on them that I'm sure doing something fun. And they have slippers. Slippers! Now, why anyone needs slippers on a plane is beyond me...but I want some!

One day, when I'm all wealthy from the money my fortune cookie said I'll inherit, I'm going to take a trip just so I can fly first-class. I don't even care where I go. I may even just get off the plane and get right back on another to head home. As long as I'm in first-class long enough to enjoy all the awesomeness that is spoiled luxury.

Then, when everyone else has gotten off the plane (first-class people first, as usual) I'll remain in my seat to watch to poor masses shuffle by like lemmings and I'll glory in my comfortableness. Cuz apparently I'm as mean as any airline.


Page said...

One time, the airline made a mistake and put me in first class. It was amazing. The food was incredible! I actually asked for seconds on the meal, and they gave me another entire delicious breakfast, for free of course.

Matt said...

You have no room to complain about squishedness, Miss Only-Has-Half-A-Left-Leg-Left! Sans superfluous limbs, I would have thought the allotted space sufficient.

And slippers!? Of all excessive excess! I'm assuming they took the lower half of your left leg (I can't imagine there being a demand for thighs over footed calves... and I can't see much use for a detached shin -- except perhaps as a defensive club, which you could wield with your remaining left arm), so what need have you for slippers!?

Tsk... tsk... I hope you lean on melty chocolate. In a white dress.


Buffy Dayton said...

OHHHHHH, AHHHHHH, that is the studio audience sighing right after someone storms off feeling sorry for themselves on Full House! Kylee totally loves it by the way, but Joe won't let her watch it... WEIRDO! Sorry about the stinking airlines.

Shelle said...

I'll admit...but just to you...and just this once...if FULL HOUSE is on, I watch it...

Now that's out...I work for an if I'm flying for long hours...I only try for the flights that I KNOW I can hitch a seat in first's great...but they guys right up in comment number two...totally excessive, but oh so nice!

Nicoletta said...

You're so cool. I think I should add you as an administrator on my blog so you can edit everything I write and make it as fun to read as yours.

Alyson said...

It's been forever since I've been on such a long flight, but I remember feeling just what you felt, but you said it funnier than I could have! :-)