Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Blind Dates = Not Happenin'

Guy I Have A Crush On and Hope Will Ask Me Out: "Hey Barbaloot, watcha doing on Friday night?"
Me: "Oh, no set plans. Why?"
Guy I Have A Crush On and Hope Will Ask Me Out: "My friend has an extra ticket to the opera and needs a date. Will you go with him?"
...Backed myself right into that corner didn't I?

Well-Intentioned Acquaintance: "I have a friend I want you to set you up with. I think you'd be good together."
Me: "Oh? Why's that?"
Well-Intentioned Acquaintance: "Well, you're both single."
...Word to the wise---similar dating status does not necessarily lead to compatibility.

Brother: "Hey, a lady that I know but you don't saw you for .2 seconds yesterday in your work-out clothes and wants to set you up with her friend's son that she doesn't really know." (I may have edited that one a little-but the facts are all there.)
Me: "Well, I can't begin to think of one reason for not going on that date." (Are you catchin' my sarcasm here, cuz I'm layin' it on pretty thick.)
...For the record, you should probly know both people that you're trying to set up. And fairly well.

Unspecified Parent: "Hey, favorite daughter. One of my work associates has a son that's about to travel cross-country to attend medical school. I'd like you to go out with him"
Me: "Honored Parent...I'd rather not."
...Offspring of fellow workers do not necessarily a match in heaven make.

I can count on one finger the amount of blind dates that have resulted in success. Props to Nicole and Tristan!

My other unspecified parent insists that being set up on a blind date is a compliment. While this may (heavy emphasis on "may") be true when you're 19-21ish, I'm of the opinion that when you're....well, NOT 19-21ish, it's less of a compliment and more along the lines of "I-need-to-find-someone-that's-not-too-young-for-the-guy-who-wants-me-to-set-him-up."

In conclusion, while I'm sure people have the best of intentions when they want to set you up, we all know where the road paved with good intentions will take us.

17 comments:

Matt said...

I'm glad the dating of the blind is as woeful for you... glad I'm in good company. My only apparent redeeming quality is almost always noted when I'm being set up: "Hey, you're tall... I have a tree in my yard, which is also tall. You should date."

Nicoletta said...

I so love your blog! Thanks for keeping me entertained and updated.

Shelle said...

lol...Oh I am so sorry...but I hate to say, I am one of those people that probably would try to set you up...but not anyone you would fall in love with or anything...just someone with a lot of money! You can find love later right?

Hoggards said...

First of all...you probly should've just told the guy you have a crush on that you were open if HE wanted to hang out and only then.
It's amazing how many "match-makers" are out there. I went out to dinner with Meghan and Michelle last night and Meghan had a pretty funny story!

Marcie said...

Blind dates = awkward endless hours when you realize you have nothing in common. However blind dates usually also equal a free meal... every cloud has a silver lining :)

Carol said...

So, do you want me to fix you up with my eligible friend?

No? Ok!

You gotta laugh at people and their match making efforts, or else you would no doubt surely cry.

Buffy Dayton said...

PA-LEESE! You are rediculious! I think you should get this bad attitude about dating and being set up, and throw it in the trash can RIGHT NOW!!!!

Lisa said...

So funny! Love the actual conversations! I'm sorry for but hope you keep getting set up so you can entertain us with more posts about it!

Shellie said...

I've got the perfect guy for you... he designs sports bra's and loves to play a really fun night game.

interested?

Barbaloot said...

Shelle---you said the magic words and are welcome to set me up now:)
The rest of you, learn from her. JK

Kelly said...

Ohh, so so funny because, I have BEEN THERE DONE THAT! And yes, I own the t-shirt. However, after maaannnyy blind dates (and as many times I have promised myself 'never again') I did let a friend (Jen Baxter) ask an acquaintance to give my number to 'a cute guy you see' at the singles ward. Hmmm, scary. But, met and married 3months later-success story!

Merrianne said...

i'm soooo glad i am married & ain't gotta worry bout things like that anymore.....
i've been on some INTERESTING blind dates....i don't wish them on anyone!!

Emily said...

While I tend to be of your same opinion, I started thinking about all the people I know who married a blind date. The number actually surprised me. So, while I myself never had a good experience and only agreed when December came around and no one had asked me out of their own free will and choice, I often gave in. Who knows what could happen?

Jen R. said...

I only think it's a compliment when the person you get set up with is like awesome. But what about when you get set up with horrible people? I think....seriously!? This is who you think I deserve? And it's NOT a compliment.

Megs said...

Barbaloot, I think you've commented on my blog before, so I feel good about commenting on yours. I totally hear you on this one. In fact, the brother story and the "you're both single" story may actually be my stories. But I've been on a few . . . and they all come to nothing but funny stories.
Thanks for the delightful post.

made sweet said...

lol. I love the last sentence of this post. you're great.

Tiffany said...

haha! I sure do love your blog! (Cory actually sits down with me and reads your blog too--that is a huge compliment to you, since I can't even get him to read my posts on our blog! Nice.) And I'm with you--I hated blind dates! and...did I know that you watched Star Wars and liked Yoda??