As if I don't make life complicated enough already by fighting with my split-personalities, I've gone ahead and added inanimate objects to the list of things with which I do not get along.
It all started one day at work. Where I was bored. And hungry. But I probly wasn't hungry...I just convinced myself I was cuz I was bored. Don't judge me! I know I'm not the only person that does this!! Anyway, I went to the vending machine on the 1st floor to buy pop-tarts. There are two reasons this was stupid:
1) Pop-tarts are cardboard covered with sugared glue. Seriously-I can't even explain to you why I eat them.
2) The vending machine on the 3rd floor sells pop-tarts for 10 cents cheaper. But I was lazy and decided to pay more so I only had to walk 15 steps.
So anyway, I put in my money, the machine rotates....and the pop-tarts don't fall!! I really hate when this happens. But really, the only logical thing to do is to go back to my desk, get more money and buy the next set of pop-tarts, too. Right? So I did. And the machine turned, and the first set of pop-tarts fell-but the second one didn't!!!! So, guess what I did? I went back to my desk, got more money, and bought the third set. Fortunately, they fell along with the second set so the vicious cycle didn't continue.
And what did I end up with? Two sets of pop-tarts I didn't want (okay, I fake wanted them-but quit judging), 3 set of pop-tarts I shouldn't have, and $1.90 less than I would have had if I just went to the third floor in the first place.
Vending machine: 1 Barbara: 0
Story #2. I bought this pink bracelet from Target and it's real cute. It's also really ghetto and left a pink mark on my arm. How surprising. Cuz Target is real high class and all, right?
Side story: The mark was like the kind you got on your finger from cheap CTR rings. Only it was bright pink. And everyone noticed it and started calling it my Scarlet Letter (even though it clearly was NOT a letter) which is ironic cuz I'm a little bit of a prude. Side story over.
So everytime I wore the bracelet, it left a mark. But I was already mad that the vending machine bested me and I was not gonna let the bracelet do the same so I kept wearing it and it kept marking my arm. My co-worker freaked out for a minute cuz she thought it was lead paint from China and I was gonna die. Don't worry though, I've been feeling fine. Minus that fact that my hair's falling out, my tongue has turned white and I can no longer pronounce my r's. Big deal.
Bottom line is...I put clear nail polish on the inside of my bracelet and this accomplished two things. My clear nail polish now has a bright pink tint to it...and I can wear the bracelet without it marking my arm!!
Bracelet: 0 Barbara: 1